The Napper

Posted by on Mar 26, 2016

Hello, sir! Well you look like you worked real hard this week. You don’t say? This is the kick off for your vacation? Time for a break. Welcome to the weekend.

Snuggle up and nuzzle into a comfortable chair. Maybe you’d like to sit at one of the café tables across from our registration desk, and watch all the people come by. You can stay for as long as you like. Go ahead, take a load off.

No? That’s not quite the right spot? Well, how about a table in the Café? A nice afternoon latte and a scone? Have you tried the cake? We’ve got really great cake.

Oh, you’ve had your coffee for the day? Absolutely. Totally understand. If you’d like, I could have your bags taken to your room so you can get settled in. How’s that sound?

Ah, I see, you’re not staying with us. No, no problem at all. Happy to have you joining us here for the day while you wait for a friend. I’m glad to help make you welcome and enjoy the full experience of being here at the Pfister.

Have you been to the Artist-in-Residence and Pop-Up Gallery? Yes, yes you have. Oh, wonderful. So glad you enjoyed it. Take a look at all the rest of the art hanging around the hotel. We have an extraordinary collection.

I could arrange for a haircut at the spa? Or a massage? Ever have a pedicure? They’re great…try one sometime. Sure, next time when you have more time.

What about a late lunch? I can get you a table at Mason Street Grill. Oh, great, you’re eating there tonight. Sure, savor it until then, I get it.

Now, you say you’re on vacation, so how about an afternoon cocktail? I won’t tell. Our little secret. Might I suggest The Derby? It’s a little different than you might be expecting, but, boy, or boy, is it good.

Of course, that makes sense—wait for your friend and celebrate together. It’s always more fun when you have someone to toast. Would you like to have a seat in the lobby lounge then?

You would! Excellent! At the bar? No. How about a table? No table? Okay, well, there’s always the sofas.

The sofas—you want to sit on the sofas! Our pleasure. Please, please have a seat. Relax, let all the cares of the world wash away and please let us know if there’s anything you need. I’ll have a server bring you some bar snacks right away.

Oh, and, sir…just so you know, those sofas are pretty darned cozy. If there’s anything you need…

Sir, sir?

Nighty night.

Sleep tight.

All in the world seems good and bright.

Follow me on Twitter @jonathantwest for more smart remarks and snappy retorts.

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