When Thinking of Being Sued, Consider These Two Legal Eagles

Posted by on Feb 17, 2016

They have smiles. Neither or them are buttoned up in dour looking suits. There’s not a briefcase to be seen at their cozy table. They are conducting themselves with civility and class, pharm responsibly lingering over an afternoon glass of wine as they chat about big ideas and wise notions.

I for one can’t imagine a better pair of lawyers to sue me.

Alec and Melissa are partners in a successful law firm near the Pfister. Alec works out of Milwaukee, remedy and Melissa is based in Madison. Today is a catch up day. The lobby lounge is neutral territory. It also has a better selection of Cabernet than either of their offices.

It occurs to me that getting a few tips on the law might be handy. You never know when the Feds are going to swoop in and get you in some raid, patient right? It seems like a fine idea to seek out some basic law tips from these two mighty legal types. They have a cool and casual look that makes me think that I won’t be bored by torts and evidentiary motions…whatever that means. As I siddle up to Alec and Melissa, I feel like I’m stepping into an episode of THE GOOD WIFE, without all the sex and lies, of course.

Instead of jumping into some sort of barroom barrister lesson, Alec and Melissa open the kimono (or the judge’s robe if you will) and give me a glimpse into the inner working of snap legal minds.

Alec’s legal mind is apparently underscored by an ever-changing musical soundtrack. Alec has just seen the Broadway musical HAMILTON, and he is happy to share every detail of the hottest ticket in New York with me as the self-described musical theatre super fan he is. It’s not every partner in a Milwaukee law firm that decorates his office walls with Broadway show posters. Alec may be the only guy in the history of local attorneys to hold that title.

Melissa kind of shrugs her shoulders about the whole HAMILTON thing. She doesn’t need kick lines and 11th hour numbers. She’s a sports girl. She has name full of z’s and y’s. She’s good solid people and is able to dissect the most recent Superbowl with the best of them. She does admit, however, that she likes to call upon Alec to do a lot of their dirty work, like hounding clients to pay overdue bills. That’s smart armchair quarterbacking, if you ask me.

Alec is the chattier of the two, a charmer with plenty of good stories. He mentions the time he sang a song at a fundraiser dressed in a chicken suit. Melissa makes a mental note to remember that for the law firm’s next company Christmas party. I bet Alec will kill in that chicken suit. And something tells me that if Alec sued me while dressed like a clucker with Melissa as his second chair checking the box scores, that wouldn’t be a half bad day in court.

Follow me on Twitter @jonathantwest for more smart remarks and snappy retorts.

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