A Psychometric Questionairre
Yeah, humans are social creatures
you know, we see faces
inside clouds, fungus and tea stains.
Children conduct full-length conversations
with “pet” rocks and plush dinosaurs,
then as adults, they still try to assign meaning
to their frighteningly mysterious days
through science, philosophy, religion,
art, astrology or psychology.
Pfister barista Desiree
longs to crack the code
of her workmates
which according to Wikipedia is,
“A psychometric questionnaire designed to measure psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions.”
She keeps the Myers-Briggs test page
as a favorite on one of the café’s
If a staff member lingers a moment
Desiree will ask them to take the test.
When she handed me the ipad,
I had one question for her:
“Are you 23, Desiree?”
“Yes… how did you know?”
It was the year I was 23,
when everyone my age
(who I knew)
seemed to be into that test.
My result remains:
“Emotional Intuitive Feeling Perceiving”
so I’m just like Oscar Wilde.
Mister Wilde would fit in at the Pfister,
since according to Desiree’s list
of all the 16 existing Myers-Briggs types,
one quarter of the staff shares this type.
“This is not at all a statistically sound survey,”
according to my best friend Jessie,
the professional statistician who made this chart.
that all five of the tested baristas
One of the baristas, Toni is shocked,
“But we have to deal with a lot of people!”
True, but that wide marble counter
and plexiglass divider
protects a barista’s
tender auric fields.
Two of the tested bellhops are ENTJ’s,
the type known as “the Commander,”
and all of the bellhops are Judging types,
that must be an asset for anyone who has to weigh,
organize, heft and swiftly deliver luggage for guests,
while maintaining safety for the contents within.
All the security guards on Desiree’s list are judging types,
maybe that is why they were paired up
to share a desk with the bellhops.
Her list also shows
there is no unifying factor
between five of the Pfister’s servers,
introverts and extroverts,
sensing and intuitive,
feeling and thinking,
judging and perceiving persons
are all likely to take your order;
while those with management positions at the Pfister,
tend to be sensing rather than intuitive people.
On the official Myers-Briggs site,
they say people who are the sensing type think:
- I remember events as snapshots of what actually happened
- I solve problems by working through facts until I understand the problem.
- I am pragmatic and look to the “bottom line.”
That sounds like a manager’s mind, all right!
But one in four of the staff are “champions”
with intuitive tendencies rather than perceiving.
For them, it is more common to think this way:
- I remember events by what I read “between the lines” about their meaning.
- I like to see the big picture, then to find out the facts.
- I trust impressions, symbols, and metaphors more than what I actually experienced
This is exactly the sort of brain that is critical in preserving romance,
by carrying forward the gilded service
that matches the gilded stairs,
that matches the truth:
there is no place in this hotel that is ugly
or even just plain,
there is more for the eyes to see here
than they could ever retain.
You could never figure it all out,
just as Desiree will never
figure her workmates out