I weighed one pound fourteen ounces, pills
carried four and a half months.
I was the record until 1971.
I was the size of a big tomato,
except I was long
you could put me in a shoebox.
They put five months on my birth certificate
but it was really four and a half,
my mom knew when she conceived me.
She fell so that’s why I came out early.
She always had big babies
and then I was maybe too small.
I used to iron my brother Ned’s shirts
when he was in first grade
and I was three years old
my mom would watch me
I had my baby iron
it was a small toy iron
but it worked
it actually ironed
so I would charge a whole dollar.
My brother would try to get out of it
and say there was something wrong
and my mom would say
“No. She did good.”
I made sure it was done right
that the iron actually got in the grooves
like it was supposed to.
I could draw three-dimensionally in first grade.
I was held back a year
not because I couldn’t do the work
but because I had fever and jaundice
and strep throat a lot
it affects your heart
and it affects your liver
I got those at the same time
so I was kind of weak and tired.
I grew up in Kenosha, hospital
on Sheridan Road by the Keno Drive In Theater
we had a nursery
and we had a food stand in the summertime
for extra money
my mom split the four of us up
each one of us selling the veggies
and we averaged about 700 each
it was call the “student stand.”
We protested about the bus system
the state did not have a bus system for younger kids
we had to walk three miles on the highway to get to school.
All us kids got together and walked
and we protested
and then the newspaper took care of it.
I didn’t have to pay for any of my college
till I was 26 years old.
I had a scholarship for high IQ
According to my friend
(and I need to check into this)
160 was Einstein
this friend of mine was 189
and I’m 298.
I didn’t care for Nixon, viagra sale but he did help students and low-income people
get into college like that
so he can’t be all wrong.
The first day my commercial art teacher asked us all,
“What is commercial art?”
I raised my hand and gave an answer
that blew his lecture for a week and a half
so after that he never called on me
I could wave my hand all I wanted,
but I was never getting called on again.
My teacher shouldn’t have asked a question that vague
I had studied it before that class,
read the whole commercial art textbook
but Milwaukee Area Technical College didn’t appreciate me
so they put me on independent study
I played piano and fourth chair violin for the Hollywood Bowl
the symphony in Los Angeles
in the summertime
that was my music theory class
when I was at Berkeley
it was kind of fun.