Travel

Nobody Ever Writes About the Travel Writer, so I’m Writing About the Travel Writer

One of the great joys I have as a writer is to meet other writers. Typically a writer meet up is filled with quotable quips, hair-pin turns of phrases, and good humored word-wise one-upmanship. It’s the literary equivalent of dogs sniffing one another’s behinds.

So…

22 Jul 8:30 AM 0 Read More...

The Hard Part About Living In Costa Rica

I meet her in the elevator and she says she recently moved to Costa Rica. I ask the Costa Rican ex-patriot for a story and she tells me that she is not a very interesting, story-rich person. I whine, “Come on, you live in Costa Rica! Haven’t…

21 Apr 10:52 AM 0 Read More...

She Pauses To Nibble On Her Pickle

“You have to travel with people who want to explore

otherwise everything is constructed,”

warns Louise.

She pauses to nibble on her pickle,

and contemplate those frequent trips

she has made to visit her family in Barbados.

The last time she went down there with non-explorers

they whined every…

15 Apr 11:33 PM 0 Read More...

Bar Hoping

Sean runs a trivia company out of Minnesota

called “Trivia Mafia.”

Currently there is only one bar

in all of Milwaukee

(the city with more bars than grocery stores)

where you can play Trivia Mafia

and that bar is Vintage.

Here is why Sean and his dad came down for…

10 Apr 11:31 PM 0 Read More...

This Is Not The Real Dance

Sisters came in from New York

to attend the wedding and to show off their Wedding Dance.

They are choreographing their piece right now

on the exquisite carpet that urges all who come here

to at least sashay at least slightly

even if it is so slight that no one…

03 Apr 2:42 PM 0 Read More...

Two Texans

Two Texans,

architectural engineers,

college students,

conference attendees

named Shannon and Michaela

want me to write them love letters for their boyfriends.

 

Shannon lovingingly describes her boyfriend, Ryan, as

“a sarcastic ass always picking on me and my big head!”

She goes on to say she met him at…

30 Mar 1:35 PM 0 Read More...

A Mud Bath, Followed With An Insult

A few months into my job at the Pfister I learned something very interesting:

 

If you want, the spa will give you a bowl of clay to go with a hot steam shower. Yes, with this spa offering, you can temporarily remake yourself as an exquisite porcine figure, steamed…

24 Mar 4:01 PM 0 Read More...

Coke A Cola and the Meanderthal

When I first discovered Coke’s name

to be Coke,

I admit, I was taken aback

with the fact that it is the unusual title

for this amiable human

I often see in the lobby.

But Coke is used to the awe

of people discovering his name,

and ups the…

21 Mar 1:08 PM 0 Read More...

Whispering, 1925

My term as Pfister narrator is almost up, so yesterday I finally booked a room.  My best friend Jessie drove in from Ann Arbor for the occasion.   Jessie promptly plopped on the plush puff bed as soon as we had entered and perused our room, #332.

She then jumped to…

16 Mar 11:32 PM 1 Read More...

About Life, About Mystery

The shop window on Wisconsin Avenue is empty.  Inside the glass room is a door that leads to the darkness.  The combination of this darkness door, the street lights reflected in the glass and the promise that the blank space will be filled up one day again, instills in me…

04 Mar 6:20 PM 0 Read More...

The Short Man

A guest in the lobby told the following story that took place over thirty years ago. He told me four other stories similar to this in the period of an hour.

 

I get a phone call from Short Man, he wants to see me. We were best friends in…

13 Dec 12:06 PM 0 Read More...

"What Are You Doing For Thanksgiving?"

 

The following people shared their Thanksgiving Plans:

 

Name: Ariana

Location: Artist studio

Context: One Pfister Artist Niki’s interns, Arianna spent her day crocheting condoms into upholstery for Niki’s fainting couch.

“I’m going to my fake aunt’s house. I actually met her on the bus…

26 Nov 9:38 PM 0 Read More...

Sevens And Apples

 

Right now in the Mystery that is the Pfistery,
there is a basket out in the lobby
a tisket, a tasket of apples,
all sized small
enough
to keep inside my blazer pocket

my pocket’s apple is named King David

cause I’m told these are King David…

20 Nov 2:08 PM 0 Read More...

A Love Letter From the Man With a Kind Smile

One day I’m typing in the lobby when a man approaches me. He has a kind face, one that appears illuminated from within by what I’d guess to be a gentle, prolonged love relationship. He just looks easeful and friendly. He inquires as to what I’m doing…

08 Nov 8:02 PM 0 Read More...

The Men Still Sit With Their Songbirds

Mauriah has asymmetrical green bangs,

but you can’t see them too well

in the shady nighttime of Blu.

She orders a moscow mule and tells me

that she felt really safe when she lived in Taiwan.

Sure, scooters and bicycles got stolen

but even then the thieves were only…

05 Nov 8:45 AM 0 Read More...

"Don’t worry, I’ll hold your monkey"

The following story was copied only by memory. Bob requested that there be no pictures taken of him or recordings of his voice. I did not have a pad to write on. This is not how I usually do things, but I liked the challenge.

 

Bob and his lady…

30 Oct 10:27 PM 1 Read More...

The Newest American Citizen of All

Ilda became an American Citizen today in the courthouse across the street from the Pfister. She had to pledge her allegiance to the flag, swear an oath and then was given an envelope that contained her official paperwork along with a letter signed by the President. It is 6:30…

25 Oct 12:30 PM 1 Read More...

She Works 7 Days A Week As A Fashion Designer

“My biggest bugaboo is blue jeans, sweatshirts, flat shoes.

I can’t stand it.

Every time I get on an airplane,

I’m over in Italy,

I’m over in Paris,

I’m over London,

I can tell without even asking which gate I’m supposed to go to

where…

20 Oct 12:23 PM 0 Read More...

So He Traveled Around Basting Turkeys

Harold & Laura came into town to visit their son Michael who is graduating from the Milwaukee School of Engineering’s mechanical engineering program. The three of them took advantage of Doors Open Milwaukee to tour the tallest skyscraper in Milwaukee, then the Groehmann Museum where they met the real…

24 Sep 2:38 PM 0 Read More...

I'm 90 Years Old and This is the First Time I've Mentioned It

Sophia and her mom live in Seattle, but every year they come visit with grandma for a few weeks because she lives here in Milwaukee. Julie, Sophia’s mom says that today she found out that her mother was elected high school secretary. Her mother, Eunice confesses, “I’m 90…

30 Aug 3:11 PM 2 Read More...

The Lady With The Hats

A box with twenty hats were left for me at the front desk the other day.

Miraculously, all of them fit my head. I would like to end this story here and imply that I have a secret admirer, but I know who gave me the hats. I was introduced…

29 Aug 4:24 PM 0 Read More...

I Will Get To Wear Tights & Meeting Two Presidents

The lobby

wears red roses today

when I meet Caroline

from South Carolina.

Tomorrow Carolina’s Caroline will

toss plant pluckings on the floor

as flower girl for a wedding.

She tells me

I will get to wear tights

she tells me

there will be champagne!

Who told this kid…

10 Aug 7:59 PM 0 Read More...

I've Met The Following People

I am walking outside along the outdoor customers of the Mason Street Grill when I witness a woman in her thirties fly up from her seat to stand before her friends and wildly gesture with her whole body. Her four friends shriek and howl with laughter so I stop to…

31 Jul 4:17 PM 2 Read More...

Come Here You Big Lug

One suited man sees another suited man.

“Come here you big lug.”  Exclaims the other man, “What do you mean ‘a big lug?!’”

The two of them proceed to do the manly anti-hug where they grab each other’s arms and smack each other on the back. The smack…

21 Jul 10:42 PM 0 Read More...

Giardiniera

A yoga instructor and a fashion designer walk into the Pfister. They are from Portland. This is not a joke. Well, maybe it is. Kimberlee and Ashley pose with baby Quinn in front of the painting of kittens in a basket. Quinn wants to hold my hand (and her mother…

17 Jul 10:51 PM 0 Read More...
UA-9982141-2