The Pfister Narrator

The Absinthe Minded Confusion Fusion

My recorder has stored a highly detailed 16 minute and 12 second description of a book this man read a couple decades ago.  It is the autobiography of Bernard Baruch, a wall street guy who hung out at the Waldorf Astoria hotel in the 1930’s.  The description would have…

04 Sep 12:17 AM 0 Read More...

I'm 90 Years Old and This is the First Time I've Mentioned It

Sophia and her mom live in Seattle, but every year they come visit with grandma for a few weeks because she lives here in Milwaukee. Julie, Sophia’s mom says that today she found out that her mother was elected high school secretary. Her mother, Eunice confesses, “I’m 90…

30 Aug 3:11 PM 1 Read More...

The Lady With The Hats

A box with twenty hats were left for me at the front desk the other day.

Miraculously, all of them fit my head. I would like to end this story here and imply that I have a secret admirer, but I know who gave me the hats. I was introduced…

29 Aug 4:24 PM 0 Read More...

A Haircut, A Soft Man From The Spa, A War Zone

 

I got an asymmetrical haircut at the Pfister’s salon. Carrie, my stylist said she had a barn growing up. It was mostly empty, so she and her brother would perform plays inside. Carrie had “an asthmatic horse named Blaze.” I didn’t know they made asthmatic horses, but…

22 Aug 2:41 PM 1 Read More...

This Was During The Depression

Eleanore ate salad at the Mason Street Grill last Friday,
in honor of her mother,
a woman named Blanche,
“she was a honey”
born around 1892.
When honey Blanche grew up
she worked for a time making
the most popular salads at the Pfister
so great were her salads
that…

18 Aug 2:47 PM 1 Read More...

I Will Get To Wear Tights & Meeting Two Presidents

The lobby

wears red roses today

when I meet Caroline

from South Carolina.

Tomorrow Carolina’s Caroline will

toss plant pluckings on the floor

as flower girl for a wedding.

She tells me

I will get to wear tights

she tells me

there will be champagne!

Who told this kid…

10 Aug 7:59 PM 0 Read More...

a despondent coffee bean anticipating its consumption

This hotel is rife with whiz-bang creators. At any hour someone with an opinion on Salavador Dali is likely to state it from behind a counter, since so much of the staff identifies with being an artist of some sort. Certainly, there is an official resident artist and an…

04 Aug 8:58 PM 0 Read More...

I've Met The Following People

I am walking outside along the outdoor customers of the Mason Street Grill when I witness a woman in her thirties fly up from her seat to stand before her friends and wildly gesture with her whole body. Her four friends shriek and howl with laughter so I stop to…

31 Jul 4:17 PM 2 Read More...

Gazelle? Cheetah? Centipede?

While I rarely drink, today I’m yearning for a large glass of wine to glug.  Reason? It took fifty-eight minutes of vigorous scrubbing, scratching and horrifyingly dry squeaking to clean my teeth at the dentist.  My gums and psyche are sore.  After perusing the wine list I pick…

25 Jul 11:31 PM 0 Read More...

Come Here You Big Lug

One suited man sees another suited man.

“Come here you big lug.”  Exclaims the other man, “What do you mean ‘a big lug?!’”

The two of them proceed to do the manly anti-hug where they grab each other’s arms and smack each other on the back. The smack…

21 Jul 10:42 PM 0 Read More...

Giardiniera

A yoga instructor and a fashion designer walk into the Pfister. They are from Portland. This is not a joke. Well, maybe it is. Kimberlee and Ashley pose with baby Quinn in front of the painting of kittens in a basket. Quinn wants to hold my hand (and her mother…

17 Jul 10:51 PM 0 Read More...

Pineapples Visit Sauerkraut Boulevard

Mark and Delores (who have a German last name) are here from Miami. They are getting the German Milwaukee experience. They toured the Pabst Mansion, did a beer tasting and are asking who Captain Pabst (Pabst beer’s founder) was close friends with. Honestly, I don’t know.* Delores bought…

13 Jul 1:33 PM 0 Read More...

La Belle Fleur et Le Verdant

La Belle Fleur (the beautiful flower), is a pear infused vodka recipe that Katrina is following today. She is still deciding on her own name for it, but knows she wants it to be French. She is teaching herself French from an application on her phone.

Trois de poire (three…

10 Jul 10:38 AM 0 Read More...

How Young Paul Got His Name

One day I plop down on the couch near a woman and her family because they look like they are having a riotous conversation and I want in.

The woman is having tea with her former boss and her children. She cackles at my idea of him as the father…

06 Jul 11:31 PM 0 Read More...

We Are The Larvae Eaters

“Next year we we’ll have 120 pounds of honey coming outta the two hives,” says Brian Frakes, Pfister head chef and as of this year, beekeeper. He takes me up to the roof; where 24 stories above the ground the bees await their sugar water refill. He lights the…

02 Jul 10:03 PM 0 Read More...

The Godfathers

The first time I ever went into the Pfister was when my godfathers (I have two) spontaneously invited me for a hamburger in the café. I didn’t know regular people from the local population could do that sort of thing, and I was nervous to be dining at an…

29 Jun 10:54 PM 0 Read More...

For You, For You, I Skitter-Skatter In The Dark

At my desk I get a good view of the lobby flowers that get changed regularly. Two weeks ago they were a purple irises. Back in the day there used to be a whole courtship code that was communicated by flower arrangements. If a suitor gave me a bouquet of…

26 Jun 11:52 PM 0 Read More...

Ambassadors of Rugby

Do you remember the poet who died at age 25? The famous one named Rupert Brooke who wrote during world war one? Rugby. Salman Rushdie, Lewis Carroll, Rugby School. Yes, we know Rugby is a sport, but it is a place with roads and soil too. Val and her husband…

21 Jun 11:11 PM 0 Read More...

"We are staying here for the junk mail conference."

Some days I’ll consult the hotel’s itinerary and try out other people’s conferences. Recently, I attended the Printing and Mailing Conference. They had “dimensional packaging sessions,” and forums on why LinkedIn is important. Though I have a profile on there I still don’t know why LinkedIn…

19 Jun 12:24 PM 0 Read More...

Without Getting Even Slightly Frazzled

Dr. Hollander likes to talk and play at the same time. This afternoon he invites me to pull up a chair and keep him company.   He hasn’t any sheet music with him but there’s no song he can’t play on the lobby piano. Aware of this, I…

12 Jun 11:09 PM 0 Read More...

Recent Occurrences

 

Nik Kovac, Milwaukee’s east side alderman

emerges out a lobby elevator in his usual blazer

but a pair of swim trunks are peeking out of his pocket.

He says he came to swim in the highest pool in town,

“It defies physics to have a pool on the…

08 Jun 10:11 PM 1 Read More...

They Seem Very Busy

The woman does not want to be identified.

The woman can make you an iced coffee.

The woman frequently makes me an earl grey

with a side of questions concerning Harry Potter.

 

She first read Harry Potter as a high school student

back in her homeland, the third major…

05 Jun 11:20 AM 0 Read More...

25 Pedestrians of Milwaukee on a Friday at 4:30p.m.

On the twenty-third floor I go to the windows to learn about the pedestrians of Milwaukee.

A man is just off work from a job where they blast air conditioning, see his long sleeves? This man is free now but carries the burden of his day and his backpack…

31 May 2:20 PM 2 Read More...

"The Painting" By Joe

Mr. Joe Charney, Pfister lobby lounge frequent visitor, has already been written about by the two hotel narrators before me. And much of what he told me was also accurately described in those blog posts. But not everything! Here you will see why Mr. Charney needs a third story, my…

30 May 1:23 PM 1 Read More...

Hey Historians Of The Future, READ THIS!!!

I am at my typewriter when a woman comes up to me with a request for a love letter. The reason for her love letter being ordered: the two of them are apart while her partner goes on an extended trip to Boston, Winnipeg and Lake Forest to pursue the…

24 May 5:11 PM 0 Read More...
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