The Pfister Narrator

"What Are You Doing For Thanksgiving?"

 

The following people shared their Thanksgiving Plans:

 

Name: Ariana

Location: Artist studio

Context: One Pfister Artist Niki’s interns, Arianna spent her day crocheting condoms into upholstery for Niki’s fainting couch.

“I’m going to my fake aunt’s house. I actually met her on the bus…

26 Nov 9:38 PM 0 Read More...

Employee Benefit Implementors Ruminate While Sipping Glog

The following monologue was created from a conversation I had with two women as they waited for Val to serve them some hot glog. Note: multiple voices and perspectives speak as one.

 

We’re not down here too often

we work in Brookfield and have clients here

so we…

23 Nov 11:28 PM 0 Read More...

Sevens And Apples

 

Right now in the Mystery that is the Pfistery,
there is a basket out in the lobby
a tisket, a tasket of apples,
all sized small
enough
to keep inside my blazer pocket

my pocket’s apple is named King David

cause I’m told these are King David…

20 Nov 2:08 PM 0 Read More...

Shrunken Heads of Old Men & Angels of Light Hibiscus

 

Each time I go to work someone from the staff is bound to show me something.

 

Once, Rick the bellhop tells me about his boston terrier, Mugsy.

“She grows more and more into a creature every day, and less like a dog. She has creature tendencies.”

Such as…

16 Nov 2:50 PM 0 Read More...

Eavesdropping in the Pfister

I am sitting in Blu by myself so that no one will distract me as I eavesdrop in on the conversations. Some old ladies are giggling about martinis. An old man is taking all the plush chairs away from my table to build a nest for all his companions. One…

12 Nov 1:17 PM 0 Read More...

A Love Letter From the Man With a Kind Smile

One day I’m typing in the lobby when a man approaches me. He has a kind face, one that appears illuminated from within by what I’d guess to be a gentle, prolonged love relationship. He just looks easeful and friendly. He inquires as to what I’m doing…

08 Nov 8:02 PM 0 Read More...

The Men Still Sit With Their Songbirds

Mauriah has asymmetrical green bangs,

but you can’t see them too well

in the shady nighttime of Blu.

She orders a moscow mule and tells me

that she felt really safe when she lived in Taiwan.

Sure, scooters and bicycles got stolen

but even then the thieves were only…

05 Nov 8:45 AM 0 Read More...

"Don’t worry, I’ll hold your monkey"

The following story was copied only by memory. Bob requested that there be no pictures taken of him or recordings of his voice. I did not have a pad to write on. This is not how I usually do things, but I liked the challenge.

 

Bob and his lady…

30 Oct 10:27 PM 1 Read More...

The Newest American Citizen of All

Ilda became an American Citizen today in the courthouse across the street from the Pfister. She had to pledge her allegiance to the flag, swear an oath and then was given an envelope that contained her official paperwork along with a letter signed by the President. It is 6:30…

25 Oct 12:30 PM 1 Read More...

She Works 7 Days A Week As A Fashion Designer

“My biggest bugaboo is blue jeans, sweatshirts, flat shoes.

I can’t stand it.

Every time I get on an airplane,

I’m over in Italy,

I’m over in Paris,

I’m over London,

I can tell without even asking which gate I’m supposed to go to

where…

20 Oct 12:23 PM 0 Read More...

A Room Full of Barometric Gages

Inside the rouge ballroom is a top-secret gathering of the stylish.

 

The nation’s first four-year fashion program (Milwaukee’s own Mount Mary College!) is holding a reception for AIDS awareness. There is to be a conversation between Timothy Gunn, American fashion icon who hosts the television…

15 Oct 9:54 PM 0 Read More...

Pin the Eagle On the Mother

Five moments of learning from the past week at the Pfister.

 

1.

A kid from Chicago comes to my typewriter and gawks. I allow him to type whatever he wants:

“HAa Liamisthe greatest Pat and Kerianne suck and wish they could do this hahah”

 

2.

A girl comes…

12 Oct 3:21 PM 0 Read More...

Anyway, I Was Converted

Here is the conversion story of Monica who joins her friends Jan and Tom at the Pfister every Sunday after they all attend mass at St. Catherine’s.

 

“I hated it.

I was opposed to it on moral grounds.

Disgusting,

brutal,

a waste of time.

 

Then the Packers…

07 Oct 10:55 PM 0 Read More...

A Reunion With Radical Kiera

Until today, I hadn’t seen my friend Kiera in nine years. The last time I saw her we were having one last group sleepover at my house the week before we each moved out of Milwaukee to seek our higher educations in other cities. I went to Missouri for…

04 Oct 11:59 PM 1 Read More...

A Poem By LeVar Burton

Recently, Sharp Literacy, an organization devoted to the educational flourishment of urban children held a fundraiser at the Pfister. Actor LeVar Burton, who hosted all 26 years of Reading Rainbow on PBS spoke.

 

“My mom’s about four foot ten and a half,

weighs about a buck and a…

28 Sep 3:27 PM 0 Read More...

So He Traveled Around Basting Turkeys

Harold & Laura came into town to visit their son Michael who is graduating from the Milwaukee School of Engineering’s mechanical engineering program. The three of them took advantage of Doors Open Milwaukee to tour the tallest skyscraper in Milwaukee, then the Groehmann Museum where they met the real…

24 Sep 2:38 PM 0 Read More...

This Is His Fifth Wedding In Three Years

I’m drinking tropical hibiscus in the lounge

when a woman enters the vicinity clopping

her tongue like a horse

along to the ambient music.

I record this occurrence in my notebook,

take a swig of tea,

and stand

to meet the clip clop woman

so as to tell her…

20 Sep 12:16 PM 0 Read More...

The Pinecone Shaped Doorknob on the Seventh Floor

The suit store, Roger Stevens will cease to exist at the end of this month after its four decades at the Pfister. Everything is for sale.  Everything.

EverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverything.

EverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverythingEverything.

 

But NOT the elk head. That one they tell me is on loan.

I show all these manly goods to…

15 Sep 4:36 PM 0 Read More...

My IQ Is Higher Than Einstein's

I weighed one pound fourteen ounces,

carried four and a half months.

I was the record until 1971.

I was the size of a big tomato,

except I was long

you could put me in a shoebox.

They put five months on my birth certificate

but it was really four…

12 Sep 11:11 PM 0 Read More...

A Cat, A Bat And Many A Diplomat.

The Wisconsin Humane Society is throwing a fundraiser, “An Old Hollywoof affair.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

&nbsp…

08 Sep 12:16 PM 0 Read More...

The Absinthe Minded Confusion Fusion

My recorder has stored a highly detailed 16 minute and 12 second description of a book this man read a couple decades ago.  It is the autobiography of Bernard Baruch, a wall street guy who hung out at the Waldorf Astoria hotel in the 1930’s.  The description would have…

04 Sep 12:17 AM 0 Read More...

I'm 90 Years Old and This is the First Time I've Mentioned It

Sophia and her mom live in Seattle, but every year they come visit with grandma for a few weeks because she lives here in Milwaukee. Julie, Sophia’s mom says that today she found out that her mother was elected high school secretary. Her mother, Eunice confesses, “I’m 90…

30 Aug 3:11 PM 1 Read More...

The Lady With The Hats

A box with twenty hats were left for me at the front desk the other day.

Miraculously, all of them fit my head. I would like to end this story here and imply that I have a secret admirer, but I know who gave me the hats. I was introduced…

29 Aug 4:24 PM 0 Read More...

A Haircut, A Soft Man From The Spa, A War Zone

 

I got an asymmetrical haircut at the Pfister’s salon. Carrie, my stylist said she had a barn growing up. It was mostly empty, so she and her brother would perform plays inside. Carrie had “an asthmatic horse named Blaze.” I didn’t know they made asthmatic horses, but…

22 Aug 2:41 PM 1 Read More...

This Was During The Depression

Eleanore ate salad at the Mason Street Grill last Friday,
in honor of her mother,
a woman named Blanche,
“she was a honey”
born around 1892.
When honey Blanche grew up
she worked for a time making
the most popular salads at the Pfister
so great were her salads
that…

18 Aug 2:47 PM 1 Read More...
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