Food & Drink

The Newest American Citizen of All

Ilda became an American Citizen today in the courthouse across the street from the Pfister. She had to pledge her allegiance to the flag, swear an oath and then was given an envelope that contained her official paperwork along with a letter signed by the President. It is 6:30…

25 Oct 12:30 PM 0 Read More...

She Works 7 Days A Week As A Fashion Designer

“My biggest bugaboo is blue jeans, sweatshirts, flat shoes.

I can’t stand it.

Every time I get on an airplane,

I’m over in Italy,

I’m over in Paris,

I’m over London,

I can tell without even asking which gate I’m supposed to go to

where…

20 Oct 12:23 PM 0 Read More...

Pin the Eagle On the Mother

Five moments of learning from the past week at the Pfister.

 

1.

A kid from Chicago comes to my typewriter and gawks. I allow him to type whatever he wants:

“HAa Liamisthe greatest Pat and Kerianne suck and wish they could do this hahah”

 

2.

A girl comes…

12 Oct 3:21 PM 0 Read More...

Anyway, I Was Converted

Here is the conversion story of Monica who joins her friends Jan and Tom at the Pfister every Sunday after they all attend mass at St. Catherine’s.

 

“I hated it.

I was opposed to it on moral grounds.

Disgusting,

brutal,

a waste of time.

 

Then the Packers…

07 Oct 10:55 PM 0 Read More...

A Reunion With Radical Kiera

Until today, I hadn’t seen my friend Kiera in nine years. The last time I saw her we were having one last group sleepover at my house the week before we each moved out of Milwaukee to seek our higher educations in other cities. I went to Missouri for…

04 Oct 11:59 PM 0 Read More...

This Is His Fifth Wedding In Three Years

I’m drinking tropical hibiscus in the lounge

when a woman enters the vicinity clopping

her tongue like a horse

along to the ambient music.

I record this occurrence in my notebook,

take a swig of tea,

and stand

to meet the clip clop woman

so as to tell her…

20 Sep 12:16 PM 0 Read More...

My IQ Is Higher Than Einstein's

I weighed one pound fourteen ounces,

carried four and a half months.

I was the record until 1971.

I was the size of a big tomato,

except I was long

you could put me in a shoebox.

They put five months on my birth certificate

but it was really four…

12 Sep 11:11 PM 0 Read More...

The Absinthe Minded Confusion Fusion

My recorder has stored a highly detailed 16 minute and 12 second description of a book this man read a couple decades ago.  It is the autobiography of Bernard Baruch, a wall street guy who hung out at the Waldorf Astoria hotel in the 1930’s.  The description would have…

04 Sep 12:17 AM 0 Read More...

I'm 90 Years Old and This is the First Time I've Mentioned It

Sophia and her mom live in Seattle, but every year they come visit with grandma for a few weeks because she lives here in Milwaukee. Julie, Sophia’s mom says that today she found out that her mother was elected high school secretary. Her mother, Eunice confesses, “I’m 90…

30 Aug 3:11 PM 1 Read More...

A Haircut, A Soft Man From The Spa, A War Zone

 

I got an asymmetrical haircut at the Pfister’s salon. Carrie, my stylist said she had a barn growing up. It was mostly empty, so she and her brother would perform plays inside. Carrie had “an asthmatic horse named Blaze.” I didn’t know they made asthmatic horses, but…

22 Aug 2:41 PM 0 Read More...

This Was During The Depression

Eleanore ate salad at the Mason Street Grill last Friday,
in honor of her mother,
a woman named Blanche,
“she was a honey”
born around 1892.
When honey Blanche grew up
she worked for a time making
the most popular salads at the Pfister
so great were her salads
that…

18 Aug 2:47 PM 1 Read More...

a despondent coffee bean anticipating its consumption

This hotel is rife with whiz-bang creators. At any hour someone with an opinion on Salavador Dali is likely to state it from behind a counter, since so much of the staff identifies with being an artist of some sort. Certainly, there is an official resident artist and an…

04 Aug 8:58 PM 0 Read More...

I've Met The Following People

I am walking outside along the outdoor customers of the Mason Street Grill when I witness a woman in her thirties fly up from her seat to stand before her friends and wildly gesture with her whole body. Her four friends shriek and howl with laughter so I stop to…

31 Jul 4:17 PM 2 Read More...

Gazelle? Cheetah? Centipede?

While I rarely drink, today I’m yearning for a large glass of wine to glug.  Reason? It took fifty-eight minutes of vigorous scrubbing, scratching and horrifyingly dry squeaking to clean my teeth at the dentist.  My gums and psyche are sore.  After perusing the wine list I pick…

25 Jul 11:31 PM 0 Read More...

Come Here You Big Lug

One suited man sees another suited man.

“Come here you big lug.”  Exclaims the other man, “What do you mean ‘a big lug?!’”

The two of them proceed to do the manly anti-hug where they grab each other’s arms and smack each other on the back. The smack…

21 Jul 10:42 PM 0 Read More...

Giardiniera

A yoga instructor and a fashion designer walk into the Pfister. They are from Portland. This is not a joke. Well, maybe it is. Kimberlee and Ashley pose with baby Quinn in front of the painting of kittens in a basket. Quinn wants to hold my hand (and her mother…

17 Jul 10:51 PM 0 Read More...

La Belle Fleur et Le Verdant

La Belle Fleur (the beautiful flower), is a pear infused vodka recipe that Katrina is following today. She is still deciding on her own name for it, but knows she wants it to be French. She is teaching herself French from an application on her phone.

Trois de poire (three…

10 Jul 10:38 AM 0 Read More...

How Young Paul Got His Name

One day I plop down on the couch near a woman and her family because they look like they are having a riotous conversation and I want in.

The woman is having tea with her former boss and her children. She cackles at my idea of him as the father…

06 Jul 11:31 PM 0 Read More...

We Are The Larvae Eaters

“Next year we we’ll have 120 pounds of honey coming outta the two hives,” says Brian Frakes, Pfister head chef and as of this year, beekeeper. He takes me up to the roof; where 24 stories above the ground the bees await their sugar water refill. He lights the…

02 Jul 10:03 PM 0 Read More...

The Godfathers

The first time I ever went into the Pfister was when my godfathers (I have two) spontaneously invited me for a hamburger in the café. I didn’t know regular people from the local population could do that sort of thing, and I was nervous to be dining at an…

29 Jun 10:54 PM 0 Read More...

For You, For You, I Skitter-Skatter In The Dark

At my desk I get a good view of the lobby flowers that get changed regularly. Two weeks ago they were a purple irises. Back in the day there used to be a whole courtship code that was communicated by flower arrangements. If a suitor gave me a bouquet of…

26 Jun 11:52 PM 0 Read More...

Without Getting Even Slightly Frazzled

Dr. Hollander likes to talk and play at the same time. This afternoon he invites me to pull up a chair and keep him company.   He hasn’t any sheet music with him but there’s no song he can’t play on the lobby piano. Aware of this, I…

12 Jun 11:09 PM 0 Read More...

They Seem Very Busy

The woman does not want to be identified.

The woman can make you an iced coffee.

The woman frequently makes me an earl grey

with a side of questions concerning Harry Potter.

 

She first read Harry Potter as a high school student

back in her homeland, the third major…

05 Jun 11:20 AM 0 Read More...

25 Pedestrians of Milwaukee on a Friday at 4:30p.m.

On the twenty-third floor I go to the windows to learn about the pedestrians of Milwaukee.

A man is just off work from a job where they blast air conditioning, see his long sleeves? This man is free now but carries the burden of his day and his backpack…

31 May 2:20 PM 2 Read More...

"The Painting" By Joe

Mr. Joe Charney, Pfister lobby lounge frequent visitor, has already been written about by the two hotel narrators before me. And much of what he told me was also accurately described in those blog posts. But not everything! Here you will see why Mr. Charney needs a third story, my…

30 May 1:23 PM 0 Read More...
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