“Not that kind of guy” (A post-Well Spa massage poem; as overheard)

25 Feb, 2012

by Ed Makowski


“Not that kind of guy”



I don’t normally do this.


Any other

Thursday afternoon

this time of year

I’m in the office

until the sky is dark

walking to my car.



The glass of champagne

-well it was included.

Part of a gift certificate

my wife bought for me.

Birthday present.


I just came up from downstairs,

they have a massage parlor.


It’s not my kind of thing

but I had to use it

or her feelings would be hurt

and we would have wasted

all that money.



She’s always telling me

I should take some time away,

relax more.

Go on a trip.

I suppose we could go somewhere

for a week or two. Somewhere nice.


“Let the employees take care of it

-that’s why you hired them!”

she likes to say.


My wife comes downtown here

to get these massages

and they do things to her hair,

treatments on her skin.


-You ever had one of those facials?

I can’t believe how smooth my face feels,

like a bare ass baby.

Reminds me of our firstborn.

‘Course she’s all grown up now.



Those massages,

I’ve never had one before, always thought

that stuff isn’t for me.

I’m not that kind of guy.

You know what I mean, I…


I didn’t even catch your name, I apologize,

here I am

talking your ear off

like a space cadet.

If you tried one of those massages downstairs,

you’d know what I mean,

they have showers with something like…

4 or 5 jets of water

spraying all over your body.

All at once!

Who thinks of that?


Look at this. Unbelievable.

A glass of champagne.

A glass of champagne in the

middle of the afternoon?

The guys at the shop

would never believe it.

I’m glad they include it

with the massage

because I never would have

sat down here

and ordered one.

Now I understand it-

why she comes here all the time.


Maybe we should take a trip soon,

somewhere warm.

Somewhere with a beach, maybe on an island.

One where you can ride around on

those little motor scooters.



Pardon me, Bartender?

May I have another?



About the author

Ed Makowski

Ed Makowski is a poet/writer/artist/radio personality/gatherer of stories and lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. While working as Eddie Kilowatt he released two poetry books, Manifest Density and Carrying a Knife in to the Gunfight. Density was included in Best New Poetry of 2006 and Gunfight received the Carma Writer’s Award. Both were released on his indy press Full Contact Publishing. Ed is also a regular contributor of interviews to Lake Effect on Milwaukee’s NPR station 89.7 WUWM. This is also where he curates The Lunch Counter storytelling series. Through April the Pfister Hotel is home to The Lunch Counter. Ed will serve as the Pfister Narrator through April 2012. Ed is also working on a few different poetry books, each taking overtly different directions; dialogue poems, history poems, longer storytelling poems. Between writing projects and working Ed likes to ride motorcycles and backpack into the middle of nowhere.

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