My fellow Americans – and Marcus employees
I’m sue you are aware that I and other former leaders of the free world have had the honor of being a guest here at the fabulous Pfister Hotel. My honey bunch Hilary likes it too.
We see that there has been some in the entertainment industry who have tarnished the good name of our beloved Pfister, there claiming that Stubby is being held against his will.
I’d say that is not the case. Stubby remains a free American mascot, unhealthy able to make his own decisions because of this great democracy we call the United States of Marcus – er America.
Now you know that each of presidents know that the Pfister brand is unimpeachable. And yet, the Marcus Theaters division has targeted this landmark for demolition wishing to turn it into an Ultra Screen.
We cannot let this happen. I say Save the Pfister!
So my fellow Americans, ask not what the Pfister can do for you, ask what you can do to save the Pfister.
A vote for the Pfister is a vote for all that is good and just in this country.